Draznel - The beginning

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Draznel - The beginning

Post  Inquisitor Draznel on Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:50 am

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. After Draznel's small village north of Kintargo was completely overrun by evil worshipping cultists with a Glabrezu at their head, was he to recall all the small signs that he should have noticed. As he walked away, with his meagre positions, from the place he knew as home he recalled all the things that had happened in the past year. From the children born to barren women, to sudden gains in wealth, now that he had time to think, must have been a demons work. The orange glow of houses burning is the last memory that he would have of his hometown.

Draznel could still recall the dream that he had which warned him of the coming danger that night. A beautiful woman in shining armour and a shield of light appeared from out of nowhere.
"Your time in Cheliax is at an end. You must leave tonight and travel north to the place where my most faithful of followers are holding off some of my enemies. You must take nothing more than you can carry,"

"So how can I get there? And how will my family and I survive on the way?" replied Draznel

"You must not take anyone. You must have noticed that they are not the same as they were a year ago. They are no longer following me. You must survive of the land, stop nowhere until you reach your destination. It will be a hard journey but you must succeed," she insisted.

"I will do as you say. As always I am your loyal servant," Draznel said with a heavy heart knowing what he must do. With that the woman's shield let off a blinding light."

Draznel woke up suddenly covered in sweat with an urgent need to pack and leave. Though leaving his parents behind was one of the hardest things he would ever have to do, he had noticed changes in them as well and knew what was the right thing to do.

He raised his head from the memories, turned his back on the fires and headed to where he knew that he needed to be. It took him many months to skirt around the edges of Nidal, for even a small village boy like him knew that it was no place to be seen alone in, and go through several other countries before he finally reached Lastwall. He had lived off the land as told and learnt quickly who to avoid and who he could trade with on his way. It was in Lastwall that he knew that his life was just beginning. The first city he saw, he went straight to the local church declare what had happened to him. Though at first sceptical the clerics brought him in to see what he could offer to the church. They let him rest for a few days in a spare room in the church, before begin tests to see his abilities. When the tests were complete, they knew how they would train the young recruit. Though not well educated, Draznel had natural intuition and his ability to sense truth which would do very well in one particular field. So Draznel was sent to the Inquisitors to began his long arduous training.


Last edited by Inquisitor Draznel on Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Inquisitor Draznel on Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:51 am

Hard to compete with Damien and Winter, but let me know what you think so far
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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Magnus on Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:04 pm

Inquisitor Draznel wrote:Hard to compete with Damien and Winter, but let me know what you think so far
Hey that's great! I like his vision quest.
If you care, I'd say it could use some grammar clean up here and there, but I used to copy edit so I'm just anal. I'd also change where it says "though not very intelligent" to "though not well educated" as I view the intelligence stat as more akin to education and the statement makes it sound like Draznel is dumb, which I'm sure he's not.
Ok now that I've made all these comments, I'd better bloody write something.
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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Inquisitor Draznel on Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:09 pm

Cheers mate, grammar i am not worrying too much about, after having to worry about it so much at work I like to relax Razz
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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Jack Napier on Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:28 pm

Don't concern yourself with "competing" with Winter or myself... there is no contest and there are no prizes beyond the value you give your own character by developing their story.

I really like that I'll know so much about your character before he's even introduced to the game. It gives me ideas of how my character will probably interact with yours.

Discerning lies will definitely make Jack nervous. He may make you promise not to use it on him. Smile
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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Magnus on Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:53 pm

DamianCrowley wrote:Don't concern yourself with "competing" with Winter or myself... there is no contest and there are no prizes beyond the value you give your own character by developing their story.

I really like that I'll know so much about your character before he's even introduced to the game. It gives me ideas of how my character will probably interact with yours.

Discerning lies will definitely make Jack nervous. He may make you promise not to use it on him. Smile
Eek... I was thinking it may be one of the first things Magnus would warn an Inquisitor about... Don't worry, he'll probably be too preoccupied trying to give me the inquisition...
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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Winter on Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:23 am

looks great man!
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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Jack Napier on Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:33 am

Jack's hope is that his good actions sound louder than his sneakiness when it comes to vouching for his character. His bluffing comes with good intentions (ie. protecting people from his association with the Hell Knights) and generally will be used with the greater good in mind.

An Inquisitor may find someone of Jack's qualifications "useful" just as Jack would, in turn, find the big guy useful.

Hiding amongst Paladins and Inquisitors is not a place anyone would expect to find a Hell Knight "deserter", which aside from humiliating his father (an officer) is the only big "crime" he has committed.

Seeing as he was never much wanted by the Hell Knights due to his lack of strength, and he's eluded them for years, he shouldn't be high on any wanted lists. It's just enough to make him uneasy in their presence and potentially create some interesting roleplay situations.
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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Inquisitor Draznel on Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:40 am

Don't worry, I am not trying to compete with you guys, just writing what i think and hoping that it is a good read (although with grammatical mistakes which i will fix when I have the energy). Like the feedback, and think he will fit well into the group. Even though he is an inquisitor he has his own goals in mind and I don't think he will be against jack as he really is not going against the faith.
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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Jack Napier on Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:09 am

It's great, man. I like what you've written so far.

I really like playing in a party of developed characters... it's great when situations come up where everyone knows a character will be reacting in a pertinent and likely plot-driving way.



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Re: Draznel - The beginning

Post  Magnus on Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:50 am

I shouldn't have said anything about grammar Colin, apologies. It's nice to hear sth about who each others characters are and what shaped them as individuals.
Jack doesn't actually have anything to worry about. Hell even if he wanted to hide sth from Draznel, it'd be tough to do. It is a great "hiding" place and don't worry, though Magnus has issues with dishonesty in general, he hopes he fully understands Jack's motivation enough - He just wants him to be able to trust him enough to be completely honest with him one day <of course this is Magnus' point of view only>.
Magnus, on the other hand, does have sth to worry about, as an Inquisitor's usual task is to route out corruption within the faith, and they are sometimes given great leeway as to the interpretation.
I think it will be a very interesting dynamic between the two of them, LG "paragon" and LN "investigator" of the same faith, two possibly different ends of the same stick, TN druid who looks at the balance in many things, along with a CG rogue hiding as in the condition Smile from his past!
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